Okay, so less than 36 hours till the Emmys. My first instinct: call everyone I know to see if I could borrow a dress. Thanks to VH-1's uber-stylist Alana Kelen, by 8pm Friday night I had about fifteen dresses to choose from, which I quickly narrowed down to four.
Hot pink duchesse satin from Badgley Mischka (my Italian Grayhound WIlhelmina
really likes this one) ...
Canary yellow, asymmetrical knee-length from Feraud (love at first sight, especially after seeing all the crayon-box colored, asymmetrical neckline dresses that stormed the runways during Fashion Week)...
Ballet pink silk shantung from b. Michael Couture (dresser of Beyonce)...
And a royal blue chiffon strapless, also from Badgley Mischka (have you seen their new lingerie ads with Teri Hatcher? Wowza!).
But before trying anything on (remember the post fashion week puff I mentioned?), I bolted to the gym and pleaded with my new trainer Alex Reznik (former trainer to elite Russian soldiers) to pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase work some of his Russian magic and get me into instant Emmy shape. I have only been working with Alex a few weeks (I found him via a Women's Wear Daily article), and in that short time I discovered he is not just a trainer but also a nutritionist, physical therapist, psychologist and life coach (though he may not yet realize it). Despite his hardcore fitness background, he does not believe in the "no pain, no gain" mantra. To wit, his countdown advice:
1. Don't workout like crazy before a big event -- it's likely you will injure yourself.
2. The most important thing to do: get enough sleep.
3. Don't try anything new (crash diets, intense exercise regimes, unfamiliar foods).
4. Don't stress, because it will show in your face and in the way you carry yourself on the carpet. Spend the majority of your free time meditating.
5. Avoid salt, processed foods, soda, pasta and all the things you should avoid anyway.
6. For a temporary yet effective toned look and posture boost, do a series of sun salutations or a few tricep dips on the edge of a chair just before going to the event.
I left Alex feeling reinvigorated and surprisingly calm...until I got home and tried on the dresses. Nothing fit. Too big, too long, too droopy, too short, too something-isn't-quite-right. I tried my best to focus on Alex's 4th piece of advice.
15 hours till take off and still no dress.