StyleSpy with Katrina Szish

TIME TO RELAX!

The central clock above the main dining room.  Love the retro look.

I chose the Two Bunch Palms resort and spa as my post-Oscar escape for several reasons.

The first is obvious -- the surroundings.  A verdant oasis in the middle of Desert Hot Springs, CA, Two Bunch Palms is both dotted with swaying palm trees and encircled by snow-topped mountains.  The vistas are gorgeous and relaxing...another bonus: a private jacuzzi just outside my bedroom door.  I also wanted a destination close to L.A. that felt like it was a million miles away:  the resort is about a two hour drive due East on the I-10, just down the road from one of my favorite towns -- mid-century modern furniture shopping heaven!! -- Palm Springs. 

Turtles sunned themselves daily on the edge of the lake.  I opted for sunscreen and shade.

Also high on my wish list:  a destination with some history.  Not only does Two Bunch boast Hollywood ties (Tim Robbins' famous mud bath scene from The Player was filmed here)...

Tim Robbins, The Player.
Thankfully, my mud bath experience was unplugged.

...but it also has a bit of a notorious past: Al Capone regularly sought respite at the resort.

Plus, I have recently been intrigued by the concept of reclusive starlets  (perhaps it was all that research I did on Marilyn Monroe for my appearance on Bill O'Reilly's recent "Icons" series?), so I decided this would be the ideal chance to channel one...in a good way, of course.

And, it just so happens that soon after arriving I crossed paths with a recently reclusive (and very handsome) actor who was also making his escape (no names mentioned, sorry -- I'm the Style Spy, not the Style Snitch).  I clearly chose the right spot.

I was also thrilled to see this sign just outside the main office:

Mission accomplished!

One of the most unique features of the resort is that it happens to be situated on top of one of the hottest natural mineral hot springs in the world, right here in the Coachella Valley desert.  According to the resort's website, "Native American Indian tribes have referred to it as sacred ground, for the natural elements that merge together here don't exist in this form anywhere else on earth."

The mineral-rich waters cascade into two pool areas -- one at 104 degrees and the larger at 99 degrees -- which they have converted into a relaxing, almost tropical enclave called The Grotto (below). 

Like the rest of the resort, The Grotto is a quiet zone, so whether you take a dip after breakfast (that was my daily routine) or under the stars at midnight (I was way asleep by then, although it would be a lovely experience, I'm sure), you're guaranteed sublime silence.

Right this way for a therapeutic soak in one of the famous mud baths...

That's me, soaking in a thick mixture of peat moss imported from Canadian bogs and mineral-rich clay from the resort property.  Once I got used to the squishy, gelatinous texture and the -- I'll go with "odd" here -- smell of the mud, the soak was surprisingly tranquil.

If a mud bath isn't your thing, choose from dozens of other spa treatments, most of which are offered in private, thatched-roof huts.  I highly recommend a 90-minute Shiatsu session -- definitely one of the best I've had.  And I've had a lot.

And don't go looking for a fitness center...this place is all about replenishing energy, not expending it.  You can, however, choose to go for a hike, play some tennis or go for a swim, although I didn't see anyone shedding their robes (the resort's unofficial guest uniform -- yes, even the famous actor was wearing one at all times) for tennis whites.

One of my favorite enclaves was the citrus grove, full of grapefruit, lemon and orange trees teeming with ripe fruit.  Beautiful to look at, even better to eat. 

Grapefruit galore!

So good, in fact, that just before driving back to civilization, I climbed a tree (!) to pick the most amazing lemon I have ever seen...It was the size of a grapefruit and as tall as a 24 oz. cup!

Notice the plastic cup: "Made From Corn"

Two Bunch Palms warns guests to prepare to be "Two Bunched" -- and they definitely delivered.

I may be back in The Big Apple, but I'm still dreaming of The Gigantic Lemon...