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May 16, 2008

"Sex" Isn't Worth The Hype

At least according to Cody Willard, co-host of "Happy Hour" on the Fox Business Network.

FBN's Rebecca Gomez and Cody Willard


I was a guest on Cody's show earlier this week and was intrigued by his intense dislike of "Sex and the City.".  The mere mention of this ultimate chick flick makes him feisty.  He insists "Sex" is a fantasy world that no woman has ever truly experienced and therefore the premise of the series -- and its legion of followers -- is ridiculous. 

Rebecca Gomez, Cody Willard and Katrina Szish talk about Sex

To wit, his rant on his blog, The Cody Word:

"I hate 'Sex and the City.' Truly, as I blame it for confusing a whole generation of single New York women about the difference between reality and fantasy. Hey New York City girls, “Sex and the City” is a fantasy.  Get a freakin’ grip."  

Now truly, I love Cody (especially because of the ease with which "Manolo Blahnik" rolls off his tongue), but I have to call him out on this, because he is wrong on two levels. 

First, we are talking about fiction, remember?  This is not a documentary, thus there are going to be some fantastical elements.  We have a freakin' grip, Cody.

Second, Candace Bushnell -- and many other women who have come of age in The Big Apple well before the "Sex" phenomenon began in the late 90s -- really have lived that life, or something remarkably similar. 

Sarah Jessica Parker on the

Marcel Thomas/FilmMagic

In fact, I am one of those women and happen to be friends with many others, all of whom were a version of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha or Charlotte before those characters ever existed. 

"Sex" is a story based on the real lives of real women.  Many of those "New York City girls" Cody refers to have become "Sex" fans because they genuinely identify with the lifestyle and characters -- not because they are trying to live vicariously through a "fantasy."

Cody's co-host Rebecca Gomez (who is also one of "us") and I accused him of being bitter because he's probably been burned too many times by "Sex"-y women.  We were teasing him, of course, but he didn't deny the possibility.

My question is: Are men intimidated by strong, smart, successful, independent women?   Or does it just bug them that we are all those things and also have time to shop for shoes?  What's the deal?

Seems to me that Cody, and other like-minded, anti-"Sex" men out there, are guilty of confusing reality with fantasy.


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I dated a Colombian whose relationship sentiments were always consistent with the latest Shakira album. I was dumped by an American girl who watched a marathon of Sex in the City to build up her courage. I share Cody's annoyance with this phenomenon. There is a mass cultish-ness about this show (forgive the apparent paradox).

Posted by: khouse | July 27, 2008

I've never been a SATC fanatic. I don't dislike the show - I think it's well-written and fun to watch, but I never identified with the lead characters. My own life in New York City was vastly different from theirs. That said, I don't see anything wrong with women enjoying the show or even wishing they could live like Carrie and the rest. As for the men who bash it, enough has been said about the fact that they're obviously threatened by free, independent women. My point for this evening is if it's wrong to admire a character you can never be like, then I suppose Jack Bauer and John McClane are as evil as Carrie Bradshaw.

Posted by: Liv | May 27, 2008

check out the cat fight on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti8fVxE2eKc

Posted by: Bob Juan | May 21, 2008

Cody:

Do you really know that many women who have based their life decisions on SATC? Moreover, can you really claim to know how many NYC women conduct their sex lives? It seems like you are making some sweeping generalizations. And it's saddening to hear that you -- and perhaps other men like you -- think women are vacuous enough to aspire to a life that simply mimics a television show.

Sure, elements of SATC are unrealistic: how many successful, career-driven women in NYC actually have as much time for boozy brunches as Carrie and her coterie? But the show was based on the experiences of the author's *real* life, and many elements -- success, independence, strong relationships with friends, and enjoying the fruits that such a life brings -- ring true for a generation of women. Sure, some of SATC -- perhaps even its treatment of sex -- was over the top, but it was a television show, after all.

Posted by: Julie Ann | May 20, 2008

Cody,
Long before there was a SATC - book or movie - I lived the life! Why do you think generations of women flocked to the Big Apple - independence, careers, excitement and a lifestyle that allowed them to be intelligent and chic at the same time!
Janel

Posted by: Janel | May 20, 2008

THANKS TO ALL STYLE SPY READERS FOR YOUR POIGNANT COMMENTS.

HERE IS THE RESPONSE I POSTED TODAY ON CODY'S BLOG:

Cody! I didn’t miss your initial point.
You claim that life is imitating art, while I maintain that art is imitating life.

It is sad to think that some women may strive to mimic the escapades of fictional characters – and I am sure there are those who do. However, it is also sad to hear an intelligent man generalize that the sexual behaviors of NYC women have been “confused” by a television show. This show was born out of a woman’s and her friends’ life experiences; SATC reflects the life experiences of many real women, yet it certainly doesn’t provide a script. If the women you have dated are the exceptions, perhaps you are dating the wrong women.

I don’t disagree with the fact that “Sex” trivializes sex, but your generalizations trivialize a gender.

Posted by: KATRINA | May 19, 2008

I, for one, am rather offended that Cody, even in his blog comments, thinks that women are actually vacuous and impressionable enought to be watching the show and adjusting their behavior and life choices based on the fictional characters' behavior.
Get a grip.
The show hit a national nerve and turned into a huge hit and is still in the public consciousness all this time after the series ended precisely BECAUSE it captured and reflected so many women's realities.

Posted by: Tracy Loughlin | May 19, 2008

Katrina's right on this one . . . definitely based on real-life people. Some stuff just can't be made up.

Posted by: Michael Taylor | May 19, 2008

I, too, wonder about men who hate Sex and the City with a passion. IT'S JUST A TV SHOW! Men have been cavorting around this city in their fancy suits for decades talking about who and what and where and how they you know what-ed! It was about time women got to do it, too...with style, wit and aplomb! Kudos to Katrina for holding her ground!

Posted by: alexa | May 19, 2008

Dear Cody,

I read your blog. You're sweet. But here are my two shekels: Sex and The City is a show that captured a cultural moment. It is fiction, but it is fiction firmly grounded in a prevalent reality. Women are different now, and had been different for well over a decade by the time SATC came around.

Today, around 40% of the adult population in the US is single - warranting a major demographic shift, and also - possibly signaling that the dynamic between the sexes has changed, along with our collective circumstances. Some have called us the "Unhooked Generation" (see Jillian Strauss' work). Some call the consequences an evolving feminism. I call it "Girls just wanna have fun" syndrome. But we're here, we're clear, and you should be used to it by now. SATC just helped to spread the word.

As for your metaphor, no - men going out and living like sociopathic mafiosi killers is not akin to women making the best of a brave new world. You may want to scratch that.

I noticed that started your blog with lyrics, and as a tribute, I shall end my comment with a nod. While they are from Christina Aguilera's STRIPPED, they are merely a continuation of words sung by Madonna two decades ago. Listen, and learn:

"Oh sorry if I ain't perfect, sorry I don't give a (what)
Sorry I ain't no diva, sorry just know what I want
Sorry I'm not a virgin, sorry I'm not a slut
I won't let you break me, think what you want
Oh way oh

To all my dreamers out there, I'm with you
All my underdogs, ha, I feel you
Lift your head high, and stay strong
Keep pushing on, uh"


XOXO,

Keren

Posted by: keren Eldad | May 19, 2008

Dear Mr. Williard,

In an era where modern NY men trade women like baseball cards and believe relationships are more exciting with main-stage dancers – are you really so arrogant to believe it is only women who are confusing fantasy with reality?

Posted by: | May 19, 2008

I am always interested in men who say they "hate" SATC. "Hate" is such a strong word for a -- remember this -- TV show. Yes, it has had various intense impacts on the women AND MEN in this city (and the ones who dream of coming here) but in the end everyone, no matter how much of a "Charlotte" or "Carrie" they look like or what kind of bag they carry, is an individual. So let us girls and our fabulous gay boyfriends enjoy the anticipation of GOING TO SEE A MOVIE. What on earth could be wrong with that? If you don't want to see it, Cody, you can just forget about sharing popcorn with theatres full of hot, stiletto-ed women with a few pre-movie cosmos under their Fendi belts! Your loss.

Posted by: melissa | May 18, 2008

I don't think women have trouble separating the facts of life from the fiction of SATC. It's a show for god's sake and women can watch it, have a laugh, and then go about their lives perfectly fine--thank you

Posted by: CindyM | May 18, 2008

May I opine? Cody(bless his heart)says "GIRLS in NYC have based their life decisions and especially their sex lives on the show". I feel the opposite is true. As you and so many other WOMEN have shown, the show has based its story-line on what's really going on in NYC.
Great segment(as usual)! You are always amazingly on the cutting edge. Thanks!

Posted by: white fang | May 17, 2008

Oh, Katrina, you sorta missed the entire point I am making. Sex and the City IS a fantasy...but girls in NYC have based their life decisions and especially their sex lives on the show. and that's not a good idea. But there are REAL consequences and REAL feelings in real life...and the lifestyles of Carrie et al are not conducive to productive, healthy relationships. Sex in the City is a fantasy. So too was the Sopranos, but I don't know too many guys in NYC who decided to base their lifestyles on the show.

My life is real. Scripted TV is far from real.

Posted by: Cody Willard | May 17, 2008

Oh, Cody, COME ON.... Did you JUST move to New York?

...SATC is far from fiction. In fact, while it may be a tad outrageous at times, I think it reveals a very true to life visual of many cities and their single gals, from London to Tel Aviv.

Like Katrina, I am one such gal, and have been since my early twenties. The onset of my thirties and the fact that we are all just getting more confident, and more affluent, only makes the SATC picture MORE relevant today.

NY women are not deluded to identify with the characters and scenes of this remarkable show. The four characters, in my opinion, are cleverly written to mimic one aspect of four very commonly found and simultaneously existing in most modern women: the madonna, the whore, the romanticist, and the feminist.

As for the fashions, the parties, the drama, the outings....seriously, Cody. Did you just move here? New York IS this fabulous. In fact, I don't even feel that the show has done it justice.

I would write more, but am off to a gala at the Gramercy tonight. If anyone cares to continue this convo, feel free to join my standing brunch table at Pastis tomorrow. And therein lies my point.

XOXO,

KE

Posted by: Keren Eldad | May 16, 2008

I am a moron, I wrote species, not sex.

when I meant fairer sex, not species like some alien manolo wearing interplanetary being...whoops.

kill me now.

Posted by: mr moron | May 16, 2008

cody is clearly upset because the only men that have normal relationships--the fun, ongoing, forgiving, and sane in the way that only friends are able to relate to eachother--with the SATC girls are gay men.
every other male character is like a new shoe for the girls in the show, really hot and sexy and new for at least a day, and then really uncomfortable and relegated to the back of the closet or ebay in a week.
I guess cody should try to be a bit more metrosexual in his approach to the fairer species and he might have better luck.


wear silk cody! buy some bright patent loafers and wear them without socks!! girls will not be able to stay away.

Posted by: mr husband | May 16, 2008

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